here you go grumpy, you might have better luck with girls if you use these.
they've been rated too......

My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 48
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 140
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! 43
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 28
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong! 29
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one? 60
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 19
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 19
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 11
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 21
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 24
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you. 19
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 16
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 36
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 12
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 15
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. 12
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that! 27
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too! 14
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 32
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I? 9
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty. 9
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 10
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock! 13
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 16
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 10
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 20
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 5
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 8
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over yo

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